20 Things a Sales Trader Does Not Want to Hear from a Client

For your educational and entertainment purposes, Traders Magazine presents the return of one of Wall Street’s most irreverent and seasoned sales traders, offering his wisdom–and sometimes “dopey” observations. This week’s entry offers a collection of all too familiar client-to-sales-trader quips.

In reverse order, here is the list of the top 20 things a sales trader does not want to hear from clients, who sometimes say the darnedest things:

20)    “Uhhh … were you out late last night?”

19)    “Are you really out AGAIN?”

18)    “How is it that you’ve advertised 350k when it’s only traded 120k?”

17)    “Why are you out as a large seller when I’m trying to BUY stock?”

16)    “Tell me that’s not my order that you just shopped back into me …”

15)    “That wasn’t my print way up there … Was it?”

14)    “Cleary I need to give you instructions next time.”

13)    “[expletive]!”

12)    “You might want to double check that average again.”

11)    “How long have you been doing this?”

10)    “That was a limit–Not a target! “

9)    “You don’t have to laugh at my jokes anymore–my PM just told me you’re off our research list and not to trade with you guys anymore. But, feel free to show me all your flow.”

8)    “We’re lowering our commission rates … again.”

7)    “Cancel my order.  I just completed in Liquidnet.”

6)    “No … I said SELL.”

5)    “I appreciate the stop. That’s all I have and if I were you I would get those in right away.”

4)    “You did hear me tell you that I needed to be done–right?”

3)    “So is there any truth to all these rumors I’m hearing about your shop closing down?”

2)    “Do you guys accept CSAs?”

1)   “Do you still cover me?”

Dopey was the founder and primary writer of the Web site, dopeycowboy.com, which launched in 2007. For two-and-a-half years, Dopey offered his wit and wisdom, telling the “untold stories” of Wall Street to a faithful following on trading desks and curious onlookers across the country.

Have a comment or question for Dopey? Traders Magazine welcomes readers’ feedback on his column and on all issues that are relevant to the institutional trading community. Please send your comments to Traderseditorial@sourcemedia.com